September 2009
3 posts
After a brief (-ish) hiatus, the S.W. chronicles...
2:03 PM, on a Tuesday
Suzie: This weekend, in my fevered sick state, I was watching Law and Order, and I began fantasizing about killing him, so I would no longer have to put up with such potent levels of fuckwit. And before I knew it, I was trying to decide whether, once I had killed him with his own laptop, whether I would dispose of his prehistoric body in the Hudson or the East...
'The Interview Remembered: A Monologue', by Suzie...
I have been interviewing job applicants all freaking day (rolls eyes),
one of which im pretty sure was a pre-op.I was hypnotized by her/his lashes (gestures towards her eyes). I have never seen anyone wear false eyelashes on the bottom eyelids (pauses) It was insane. And her hair- bleached within an inch of its life (holds hand up with thumb and pointer finger out, about an inch apart) It was...
August 2009
10 posts
Add this to my list of favorite animals! (right...
Oh hi, Mr. Axolotl!
Kitty sleeeeepppyyyy →
"Ay ya yay" (puts hand to forehead) - adorable...
The reign of wrath continues..
Suzie: OMG.
OMG
OMG today is the day i kill everyone in this officeand i will be on CNN as the nice British girl who never said anything to anyone, but then
one day
snapped
and killed everyone in the officeand they will do psychological studies into what made me snap and kill everyone with a magazine or letter-opener Sent at 3:02 PM on Tuesday
me: oh, oh my god
Suzie: and they will find...
What the hell is going on here??
This (is SICK):
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/national_world&id=6934863
Makes me think of THIS (famous painting):
http://starr.pausd.org/~lgoldman/mmart3/class/16/saturn.gif
Which makes me giggle at THIS:
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h23/spopt36/Goya-SaturnDevouringBlackBeans_.gif
So I guess the moral of the story here is: When life gets hard, in the end...
July 2009
30 posts
Your Daily Maru
If you don’t know who Maru is…you need to know this kitty. Meet him here:
http://sisinmaru.blog17.fc2.com/blog-date-200907.html
Meow.
Reasons to get a wolf puppy
Isn’t that reason enough?
I need you in my life right now
Ahhhh, that’s better.
If cameras could take pictures of the future....
Me and my husband, circa 2039. My co-worker just asked ‘But which one are you?’
(This is an Elliot Erwitt photo, FYI)
Word of the Day
dickmatized
I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, but you can look it up here:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dickmatized
Thank you Suzie for introducing me to this word. May you never again be dickmatized by another worthless douchebag.
Suzie's finally had it...
Thursday, 7/16/09
Suzie’s new status message - Oh. My. God. Thats it. Today is the day I kill you. It has finally arrived, i can no longer count to ten and try to tune out your utter stupidity. My agenda is now to dispose of you. 3:28 PM
"Ecstasy"
http://hypem.com/#/search/Dan%20Black/1/
All of this guy’s stuff that I’ve heard so far is awesome.
"Pump My Pumps" (rocks)
http://hypem.com/#/search/Dan%20Black/1/
I'm still on this wedding thing...
‘Why?’ you ask…because, seriously??
90% chance this is what my ex-bf's wedding will...
You think I’m kidding?
Elvis Perkins
…is so good.
http://hypem.com/#/search/Elvis%20Perkins/1/
The opening guitar in the song ‘Shampoo’ is what plays on the True Blood Season 1 DVD menu. Hellllooooooo details!
Prince Jackson will kill you while you sleep.
Seriously, look at him. Holy shit he looks like one of those Corn Children…you know what I mean. And why is he posed as a groom ready to marry his sister? This is all so utterly frightening.
Elbow - "Grounds for Divorce" (you have to push... →
This is what happens in my office when old bitches... →
Everyone can relax now
http://gawker.com/5310014/promiscuous-slut-legally-defined?skyline=true&s=x
Hype Machine is killin' it today
Z-Trip:
http://hypem.com/#/artist/z+trip
Florence And The Machine:
http://hypem.com/#/artist/florence+and+the+machine
The Honey Brothers:
http://hypem.com/#/artist/the+honey+brothers
Elvis Perkins:
http://hypem.com/#/artist/elvis+perkins+in+dearland
http://hypem.com/#/
Facebook > Reading world news websites (oh crap!)
Lance Pilgrim says: First rule of life…stick to your personal ideals. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Never apologize. Never sell yourself. Respect lasts longer than $.
Yah, I pulled it off of facebook and I haven’t spoken to LP since college, but I like it.
P.S. - And, I need some effing motivation right now.
P.P.S. - My co-worker gave me a Laurie Lipton...
"Every pizza comes with pepperoni and 9mm bullets...
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/80499638/
Not happy to be back at work, although that has...
’ “Only know one way to be. That’s the dog…” AND… “I know how to chase a cat up in the tree.” - DMX, Where The Hood At
I get the whole dog analogy. But DMX, you’re not actually a real dog. So please… just stop being fucking dorky.
The only thing you really have in common with a dog is that you both don’t know how to...
You bring up a fair point, sir...
“When asked ‘Why does no one know how to please a woman?’ Anonymous gave this answer: ‘Because nobody has a penis made out of chocolate that ejaculates money.’ “
Random thoughts for the everyday person...via mass email from a co-worker
June 2009
25 posts
"Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile ...
… I’ve never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F”
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule2
This is why you're fat
It’s a bacon cheese muffin for fuck’s sake. www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
Oh you just shut the hell up with your cuteness,...
www.cuteoverload.com